"To be playful is not to be trivial or frivolous, or to act as though nothing of consequence will happen. On the contrary, when we are playful with each other we relate as free persons, and the relationship is open to surprise; everything that happens is of consequence. It is, in fact, seriousness that closes itself to consequence, for seriousness is a dread of the unpredictable outcome of open possibility. To be serious is to press for a specified conclusion. To be playful is to allow for possibility whatever the cost to oneself."
Basically, be open to surprises and serendipity. There's lots of room for variation even in that routine. But you can also add things to the routine. Socialization is a major one; it's the 20% of "work" that brings in 80% of the wonderful things in life.
Instead of the gym slot, you can drive to a random part of town and just walk in a random direction. One of my favorite moments were just exploring the part of town with destroyed buildings. There was a nice kebab place there too and they had the guest hospitality (Xenia) that's so rare to find in our lives.
The larger the variance, both good and bad, the more the opportunity for surprises. That's also why people go to bars - there's a lot of bad nights and a few surprising ones.
It's really nice to see quotes from this book come up from time to time. Seems it's finally finding its audience decades after publication, which is gratifying. Great book; great thinker and lecturer.
Amusing(ish) anecdote: After college I worked as a live audio engineer and once did sound for his sons' band, name "Urban Blight." Sort of a funky, 90's NYC band. Nothing spectacular, but pretty good stuff.
Philosophers have complained about the convenience of modernity for centuries, but it can be quite fun to live in a modern way via a slightly more wandering route. It's less about throwing away modern life and more about the challenge of embracing -only- the good bits.
Don't stream, take the time to choose a Blu-Ray or CD to buy. Use cash next time at a grocery store. Use a Palm Pilot or a Newton for your calendar and an Alphasmart for your writing. Write down directions off of Google/Bing/OSM and sketch a little map.
All of these paths interface fine with the modern world, but there's great interest and satisfaction in small extra effort. What's boring is infinite, all-you-can-eat mediocrity. Make it even 5% more challenging and you'll 1) enjoy the journey more and 2) find what you value because now you're pulling rather than receiving a push.
Previously it was to be able to do all the daily nyt sudokus for the day in under 30 minutes.
The next thing I do after chess and maybe the cube will probably be something to do with the guitar I’ve had lying around for years which I know how to play at a basic level. Or maybe how to use some free DAW.
The commonalities here are: that every one of these is cheap and easy to pick up. It’s easy to set some concrete goal. It doesn’t actually require a huge investment of time. It’s a niche that has a community around it that I can interact with.
The reason this works for me in creating novelty in my days is because
- I get to discover stories and people I never knew of. During the sudoku phase I got to know of the folks behind cracking the cryptic and the whole sudoku championships stuff
- I get a new hobby where I get to enjoy that feeling of rapid progression one can get at the early stage (after which you run into the wall of hard work which can eventually take you from competent to expert)
- I get to have lots of new stuff I can talk about with others. Most people who’ve done some form of sudoku don’t know of theories like X wing or hidden pairs. So when we have a conversation and I talk about my current obsession of sudoku, it leads to questions like “wait I thought the only thing that makes sudoku harder is how many numbers there are hidden”. I have friends who like to geek out on stuff though. So this is very personal to me.
Worth noting that this is something that worked for me. Just sharing this in case it helps someone else.
One more thing outside all of this where it’s more a long term and somewhat expensive thing is doing sports as a community. I bought a bicycle recently and am finding more and more communities that are passionate about cycling. Getting to know them and their stories on a Saturday morning ride creates a lot of novelty on its own.
I read (once, somewhere??) that some lifetime meditators put under FMRI often have the signature activation pattern that in the rest of us basically happens when we're about to say "Oh wow, look at that!" (i.e., excited by novelty) So I'm a little captivated by the idea that part of the nature of these states called "liberation" and "enlightenment" is an unending feeling of amused and interested novelty. In the literature they'll talk about "the freshness of every moment" and other similar phrases, so it seems to really be part of the sales pitch and goal.
For me it wears off pretty fast, and isn't always available. :) But definitely it's one of the things that keeps me coming back to the cushion, because ... yeah, you said it :)
The trick I think is to do things/hobbies/work in a way where you are always in the process becoming someone else vs incremental improvements on on an existing identity.
Even if the improvements compound exponentially, or the identity is something meta like "lifelong learner", the feeling of stagnating within a loop always sets in after a while.
However the willingness to become "someone else" means that the underlying value system of what is sacred/profane is never set in stone. Each experience of novelty becomes more than stimulation that the identity consumes but a possibility of seeing life in a new way.
1. Expect mundanity. Paradoxically, expecting it to be mundane, makes it less so. In contrast, expecting it to be novel each time, is one reason why we experience it as mundane. We want to go from one high to the next. Of course it never lives up to our expectations.
2. Re-engage at a deeper level. After the beginner’s high with anything, invariably we hit a fork: one leads to cynicism while the other leads to new levels of engagement. Expecting this to happen helps navigate it.
3. Create meaning and purpose. If each step or activity is given a meaning and purpose then suddenly the mundane doesn’t seem to be so. The mistake is to look for inherent meaning. Most of the time there isn’t. We have to give it meaning however profound or banal the activity.
4. Engagement is often a decision rather than a natural reaction or response. Engaging with something more intensely often makes it interesting and vice versa.
5. Keats coined the term "negative capability" back in 1826. It's applicable now more than ever.
Not in the same context but I have written about these in the context of performance:
* On mastery and mundanity: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/greatness-as-mastering-the-mu...] On cynicism and re-engagement: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/naivete-in-leadership/] On approaching it as a decision: [https://www.leadingsapiens.com/leadership-and-creativity-as-...] * Keats and negative capability: https://www.leadingsapiens.com/developing-negative-capabilit...
I wear a different shirt.
>Expect mundanity.
So nothing wrong with the same shirt every Monday, or something like that.
>except when I socialize
That's what I do with the time I don't spend focusing on my wardrobe.
Not suggesting anything.
If you live near any national forests (U.S.), they’re great for this. Something about being alone & surrounded by trees/greenery where you can’t see for endless miles feels more refreshing than other options.
New hobbies outside of your typical comfort zone/interests that force some sort of socialization & which you plan to never be anything more than a beginner/novice at are also good, mostly in the sense you’ll be exposed to others you’d probably never speak to in life. Variety is the spice of life they say.
And then I get to pick how to enclose the project :) that's my favorite part since I get to trawl design magazines and blogs for cool ideas: https://www.designboom.com/ https://www.yankodesign.com/
Watching other people be creative helps too. In addition to the design blogs, Twitch has a lot of art streams that help unstick me.
It is a little bit f**d up because I don't have any stability, but I do have a constant source of novelty.
I don’t mean to directly insult, but I recoiled while reading your comment, and that was before I got to:
> have had 2 children with 2 different women
Of course, you are aware of this:
> It is a little bit f*d up
But are you aware these children will grow up without fathers close to their lives (presumably). Of all the things to contribute to a thread about adding more pizazz to one’s day, this testimony of yours has blown my mind.
Learning how to tolerate boredom is positive and healthy and leads to better outcomes.
edit: to be clear, though, I'm not suggesting OP has kids to bring excitement back to life ;)
not only will the novelty of evolving play styles surprise you, it will box you like fish.