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> - changing table in your bedroom

Unless you want the child in their own room as soon as possible. If you can hear your child from your own bedroom having a room dedicated to the child is a good way to keep a little bit of space to yourself and your partner (and stop your bedroom from smelling like baby poop and wet wipes).

Some people are into what's known as 'attachment parenting' where you keep the baby in a cot directly adjacent to the bed with one side which can be lowered for emotional attachment or something. If you really want that, look into the safety issues and buy the right gear.

There are also people who advocate sleeping in the same bed as the baby. Those people are idiots. Don't listen to them.

> - phone tripod for facetime

For whom? Not for the baby unless one of the parents is away for weeks on end, that's for sure. Babies don't need digital devices. Toddlers don't either (introduce music of course). They'll spend a large part of their lives glued to a 'smart' black rectangle in all likelihood, no need to rush it.

> - Dutailier glider

> - a decent otoscope

Better: don't buy large expensive stuff until you actually need it. Often you don't. Ask people in your family about stuff you actually need, and stuff some people might need. Every baby is different.

Can you elaborate on why you think that people who sleep in the same bed as the baby are "idiots"?

In most non-western cultures, the mother sleeping in close proximity to the baby is the norm and anything else is considered quite unusual.

Because traditionally, the risk was either considered acceptable or misunderstood. Co-sleeping causes a lot of unnecessary infant deaths (actually, not reputedly; look up the advice on this topic in most countries), and a lot of national health agencies strongly recommend that babies have their own crib.

Just because it is or was normal in some cultures, doesn't make it safe or a negligible risk. Ignoring evidence-based guidelines for something like this just because it feels better is perhaps not the best way to go about it — I would say 'idiotic'.

Sleeping in close proximity can be done in other ways, like the co-sleeping cots that one can put next to the parental bed. It's still not necessary or even good for the baby really, but at least it can be done without unduly increasing the risk of child mortality.

As a father of three, all of these things are great.

Keeping a change of clothes and a couple diapers in the car is another thing to recommend, you will eventually forget the diaper bag, or forget to reload it. Having last ditch emergency supplies is a lifesaver.

I'd add a NoseFrida as another product, those bulb type snot suckers have poor control, and get disgusting on the inside. It's a bit weird the first time, but it works a treat.

I don't agree with your advice about Tylenol, it has zero medical benefit.

Lowering fevers is not necessary in any way, does not protect, it does not help heal, the best you could say is maybe it makes a baby (and child) a bit more comfortable. But in exchange the illness lasts a little bit longer.

And this is not my personal opinion, this is what the best available studies say: fever reducers have no medical value.

For most illnesses, you are correct, reducing a fever is unnecessary. However infants and toddlers are at risk for febrile seizures should their temperature increase too high, too quickly. In those scenarios (fast rising temp) there is considerable medical benefit to intervention.

What you write is commonly believed, but not actually true. There is no medical benefit to intervention:

"The most consistently identified serious concern of caregivers and health care providers is that high fevers, if left untreated, are associated with seizures, brain damage, and death. It is argued that by creating undue concern over these presumed risks of fever, for which there is no clearly established relationship,"

https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/127/3/e20103...

Can you link to some of these studies? This medical advice you are dispensing online disagrees with what I've been told by doctors and nurses.

Also not sure if you have a kid but I don't think it's a foregone conclusion that making a sick infant comfortable is not worthwhile.

Here: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/127/3/e20103...

"It should be emphasized that fever is not an illness but is, in fact, a physiologic mechanism that has beneficial effects in fighting infection"

"and limited data have revealed that fever actually helps the body recover more quickly from viral infections, although the fever may result in discomfort in children."

"There is no evidence that children with fever, as opposed to hyperthermia, are at increased risk of adverse outcomes such as brain damage."

> that making a sick infant comfortable is not worthwhile.

Keep in mind in exchange the illness last longer. There are other ways to make a sick infant comfortable. You nurse them, you hold them, a cool cloth on the forehead helps a lot. Some babies like the vibration of a car ride, parents usually know what makes their baby happy - the hard part typically is finding time to focus on doing that. Obviously it's easier if they sleep in their crib (and for some parents that's the best option).

But what you should NOT do is think "My baby is sick I have to give the baby Tylenol!" You don't. (I've even seem parents wake their baby because it was time for the next dose!) A bit to help with comfort? OK. But the main thing is don't think you are treating their illness.

In my experience, sick babies do not want to sleep in their crib. Nor in the car. They would be frightened and uncomfortable and want to be held.

Tylenol is not for treating the illness. Maybe the parents you're referring to don't know what it does. It is meant for decreasing the intensity of the symptoms. One of those symptoms could be a fever and potentially the body aches that come with that. But then you have to define the word "fever".

Giving the baby Tylenol as you're describing is probably not a good idea. Using it as the tool it is meant to be I would say is.

I have never understood the parents who recommended the car as a way to get the kid to sleep. In my experience there is no better way to make the kid start screaming than strapping them into the car seat harness.

It’s more about helping them sleep and stop crying.

> - precut a bunch of little rectangles of paper towel for butt cream application

Just use your fingers and then wash your hands.

> - pump and use a bottle or just use formula if the baby is having a hard time eating in the first week, don’t let the breast dogmatists scare you

Agreed.

> - keep a box of gloves near the changing table. rather than leaving someone watching them on the table to wash your hands, just take off the gloves

Way too much work IMO, and if you have more than one, they will spread those gloves all over the house.

> - changing table in your bedroom (we didn’t do this the first time)

Just change them on the bed. We used to use a changing pad on the bed, but once you get good at it, you can change them so fast and with zero mess so we don't even need the pad any more.

> - try to avoid having too many visitors in the hospital. you need to sleep or at least rest instead. we had both our families visiting the first time and it was so much worse than covid-era visitation

Great advice. Our COVID-era baby was super peaceful, so we just did a "no visitors" policy for our more recent baby. Absent complications, you're only there for a day or two, they can wait.

> - they like to be swaddled much tighter than you think you should

> - bring velcro swaddle blanket to the hospital

Excellent advice and I often say the same about swaddlers. They are key.

You’re right about the gloves, I didn’t end up doing that one much. For the cream, I found washing thick oily cream off your fingers multiple times a day is a real pain.

My trick is to wipe it off on inside of the clean diaper (which is about to hit the cream anyway).

> try to avoid having too many visitors in the hospital. you need to sleep or at least rest instead. we had both our families visiting the first time and it was so much worse than covid-era visitation

I'd be a little more specific and suggest limiting to one visitor at a time. With two visitors, it was easy to have each parent occupied by a visitor and nobody notice the sleeping baby starting to stir and then end up with a difficult to console baby, instead of intervening earlier and keeping more calm. At least that was my experience. Newborn is not the stage to let the kiddo figure everything out themselves ;)