Here it is. To me it's like a demon you can beat by knowing its name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
I've noticed strong feelings of obsession towards an idea/goal, particularly when it's not achievable.
I think if this article really described you, you would stop dead in your tracks reading it. There is what the general public casually calls OCD and intrusive thoughts, and then there are many horrifying flavors of the real deal.