Comment by TomSwirly | Hacker News Reader

Comment by TomSwirly | Hacker News Reader

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> It's by far the easiest way to make friends

But I generally have nothing in common with the people I work with.

I'm friends with people who share my world outlook, my moral and philosophical and aesthetic views, and there's no correlation between that and working with people.

> Friend just means someone you have established a platonic relationship with right here right now.

NO, that's not friend, FFS! That's an acquaintance or a coworker.

Don't get me wrong - I'm a very sociable guy, I love hanging out with people, but I only have a few actual _friends_.

> Some of the commenters describe a friend as someone who will maintain a connection with you no matter the circumstance (loss of job, moving to a new city etc)

> I believe that is an unrealistic expectation.

I'm sorry, but if you leave a job and lose all your connection with someone, _you were never friends._

I moved to a new continent in 2016 and I'm still in touch with my small group of actual friends, and I even made two more here.

OK. i'll give another example.

I played WoW for a good 8 years everyday through high school and college, became great friends with some of the people I played the game with.

When I finished school, I hung up my WoW character and said good bye to my friends in the game.

Although I no longer keep in touch with any of them, those were some of the best 8 years of my life and I am truly fond of the memories I made playing the game and working together.

Is that not the same as a work place?

I think the larger point is if you can walk away from a relationship after 8 years without an attempt to keep in touch, you're not friends.

+1. I have a group chat with my wow friends and we have been mostly connected (with some brief periods after Cataclysm where everyone stopped playing) for almost 15 years now. We’ve had in-person meetups and I have a solid conversation with them at least once a week on voice.

What is your definition of a friend?

> Is that not the same as a work place?

No. In the workplace, you have to accomplish stuff every day of suffer serious consequences. You spend 8 hours a day with your coworkers, sure, but that time is not spent socializing. You're under the gun to produce.

In a game (or other recreational activity), none of that is true. They are inherently social activities. You can get to know each other, you are at play. It's a very, very different thing.

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