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I've found over and over again that prohibition and punishment tend to backfire. Children and adults need a reason so compelling that it will inspire them to not pursue cheap thrills at the expense of something better. Otherwise, they'll take up drinking, watching TV, eating way too much junk food and masturbating. Why shouldn't they? They feel really good!

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Speculative, but I think that draconian measures only backfire when the parent-child relationship isn’t trusting and loving in the first place, i.e. if you’ve given your kids reasons to hate your parenting beyond your restrictions on their screen time. When I was a kid I had friends who were pretty strict about their internet access, but they did not mind because they have a good relationship with their parents anyway—they play sports together, share interests, work on the same hobbies or weekend projects, etcetera. Maybe this is what today’s millenial parents are lacking in, in the first place.

100% of strict parents would say they have a good relationship with their kids (or within a rounding error). If you asked adult children of strict parents if that was true, you would get fewer than 100% positive responses. People aren’t always reliable judges of their own behavior and relationships.

My comment was misleading—I didn’t ask the parents. I asked the then-kids, who are my peers. And looking back, there really were signs of healthy parenting, and my peers grew up to be happy, well-adjusted individuals who liked the idea of family, and they genuinely mourned when they lost a parent.

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