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Comment by cpach | Hacker News Reader

This trope is getting tiresome.

Having successful interactions with potential partners and forming relationships is really not about looking like Brad Pitt. Trust me, I know.

And I don’t say this just to try to be politically correct.

It’s easy for young people to fall into this delusion, but there’s much more to it than looks.

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You miss one thing - positive feedback. It's easier to be laid-back and relaxed when "the world smiles at you" at first sight for your looks. When others treat you like a creep for any move you make, you eventually become bitter or intense, which as you said, repels people regardless of looks.

The dating experience of (heterosexual) men and women is worlds apart. Being on the non-initiating side blinds women to the amount of rejection involved in the process. Men, on the other hand, are not exposed to the amount of unwanted attention it involves since men only interact when they initiate.

excuse me! are you negating my LIVED EXPERIENCE??

No. I’m telling you: Even if you don’t have great looks, you still have a chance. Isn’t that great?

There's a chance for everything. A gold laden meteor might land in my backyard in the next ten minutes. There's a chance for that too. There's also a 1 in 1000 chance to get laid on tinder. You'd have to swipe a thousand times to get a single swipe back. Is that humanly possible? You'd have to be a robot for that. And a heartless one -- making sure that none of those many constant rejections affect you emotionally.

Dating can be rough, that’s for sure. I hope you will find what you’re looking for. Best of luck.

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