Anyone that's been in tech at the FAANG tier for two decades and doesn't have at least one to two years of runway not including retirement accounts is observably terrible at managing money.
“My non immediate relatives” can’t be my burden to bare. You have to put your own life jacket on first - my wife and my children
I think it would behoove you to think more generally: not everybody has the same familial structure as you. Some people live with their distant relatives because they act as (or need) caretakers, or come from cultures where a single familial household is the norm. "I only care about my and mine" is not an attitude that "works" for billions of people on this planet.
By the way, I’m not unsympathetic to people with long term medical conditions. While my situation isn’t serious, I was born with cerebral palsy and my parents put me through every type of therapy that you can imagine - speech, physical and occupational therapy and I went to all types of doctors on the salary of a teacher and a factory worker.
They also retired at 53 and 55 and are now 78 and 80 living in the same house they bought in 1978 in South Georgia. My dad owned three cars his entire life and my mom owned 5. They didn’t try to keep up with the Jones
This is not a sympathy post. By the time I was in high school I was winning speaking competitions, and I spent a decade as an adult as fitness instructor and a runner up to half marathons. It really only affects my left hand.
I don't know how old you are, but it sounds like your parents benefited from a substantially more worker-friendly economy than most people in my generation do. Put another way: it's fantastic that your family was able to get you the help you needed, but I don't think that you experience is repeatable in 2023 ("keeping up with the Joneses" or not).
Having worked with lots of people with over 20 years experience, a lot of them stuck with a single company their entire career and are making nowhere near FAANG.
There is not a day since then that I have lost sleep about losing my job. I’ve always found jobs quickly.
My expenses starting next year should be lower than they were when I was making less than half as much in 2016. I’m voluntarily helping my younger son out in some ways until he turns 22
(No silverspoon here, stock matches and living conservatively)
0 is the only properly reasonable value when you're considering potentially have 0 income. Don't make any commitments
Combine that idea with a bit of overconfidence, and you’ll find all sorts of expensive ways to improve the lives of yourself and your family.