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Comment by Beaver117 | Hacker News Reader

Typically autistic men have a very very hard time finding a wife. I think purely from that you are not autistic. Maybe an anxiety disorder.

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I would say that's a heavy generalization TBH. I'm married and was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 32. There are lots of autistic people who are married. You're not wrong that autistic people can lack social intuition but honestly what OP wrote sounds _exactly_ like how I felt before I went and got tested. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself because I was able to view life through that lens and alter the way I view myself for the better.

... if only autistic women existed ...

Autism is a spectrum. Autistic people tend to be nerds. High functioning autistic people learn to mask and read others and play the games that allistic people navigate with ease. It's never easy; it's draining to mask all the time. When we find autistic mates, we can find common interests and space to unmask. Finding a mate does not rule out autism.

It's just my opinion, but I disagree. If someone is socially high functioning enough to find a mate, that is no longer autism. We can't keep widening the "spectrum" to include anyone with mild trouble socializing.

As the previous poster stated we learn to "mask" and can get through society based on behaviors we have learned to mimic from others. We mask because society will not tolerate us otherwise. I can't just vocally stim in the grocery store without causing a scene. I've learned not to do that to have a generally "normal" experience. But I have the urge to beat box the whole way through because that's a soothing activity for me when I am experiencing anxiety and going to the store is a very anxiety provoking experience.

IMO I'd read a bit more up on the autistic spectrum. Further, I'd really recommend you never armchair diagnose anybody because that's extremely harmful. A lot of us have been told "we aren't autistic" or "that doesn't look like autism" and that specifically can cause tons of consternation for people like myself and OP as we try to figure out our way through life.

Hey,

I have my whole life an anxiety disorder. That’s is not a secret :)

I’m not sure about finding a wife. When I understand correctly autism is not like autism and you can just scratch the spectrum.

I’m not likely to be the „typical“ autism you see on tv.

But maybe you are right :)

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