Ask HN: Is it wise to be 100% honest when resigning? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Is it wise to be 100% honest when resigning?

2 pointsbeepboopcrunch11 comments

I'm planning to quit my job due to a new member of senior management that joined our team. This is partly because of a difference in engineering philosophy (he seems focused on box ticking rather than robust engineering) and because he treats engineers like mindless drones. I no longer enjoy going to work and dread our interactions, so have decided to move on.

I am very wary of explaining my justification for leaving in case the information gets back to him because it's a small enough field (in this country) and he is already better established in the field. I expect he could make my life difficult should he choose. Also, I worry that mentioning these reasons could somehow be perceived as sour grapes.

That said, I also feel compelled to be honest as he is earmarked for an even more senior position if the project is a "success" (i.e., boxes ticked) and I feel bad for those left behind who have to maintain a system that was slapped together under the leadership of a manager who couldn't care less about them.

Are you 100% honest when you resign or do you fob them off with a generic justification because the cons outweigh the pros?

PS I'm not alone in my read of the situation. At least two others are also looking to leave our relatively small team.

When you resign, you don't have to even submit to a resignation interview. "I quit, with effect from <date>" is quite sufficient.

It's natural to want to let off steam about why you're quitting. Unless your reason for quitting is to make a point, then letting off steam is irrelevant, and should be avoided, especially if it carries risks that you already know about.

If you're going to attend the exit interview anyway, it's probably best to restrict your remarks to platitudes:

* I got a better pay offer

* You require me to do <X> and I don't want to

It's not your business to help your ex-employer improve the working environment; even if you offer suggestions, the chances of them taking up your suggestions is slim. Saying the wrong things could hurt you down the road, so say as little as possible.

Or just pass on the exit interview.

Try not to burn bridges, even if you're determined never to deal with anyone from your former employer ever again. Just say it was time for a change, or you want to expand your experiences; something generic that won't cause any issues.

Never, ever be a jerk. Especially in the age of the internet. Be the person people want to have on board.

You already listed the trade-offs. You still care about the company and those there, but are also concerned about harming your own career.

In your own position: I would be as honest as possible in a professional, data driven way, and keep it to the point. No names. E.g. Concerns about operating and maintaining systems that didn’t fully finish the design and security review process or whatever the case may be.

It might make sense to line up another job first so that "I have another job" becomes a 100% honest explanation.

Odds are nobody will ask "why you were looking for another job?" because they really don't want to know.

Anyway being honest about "a bad manager" is even worse than you anticipate because you are also criticizing the judgement of the people who hired him.

Good luck.

Leave always in good. As you said, small enough field always means "you'll meet more than once.

I wouldn't say because of XXX. I would tell them some personal reasons, like "want to develope myself..." "some personal changes happend.. and ..."

let them feel good, and especially, that one guy. You'll need some help some day, dont build a Wall.

Always, always leave on good terms.

- be tactful and professional in your explanation - avoid mentioning specific individuals or discussing negative aspects of the company or management in your explanation - focus on how the job or company no longer aligns with your career goals or values

Ultimately if you move on, just do so tactfully.

Exactly this! Lie through your teeth if you have to, but leave with everyone smiling. I wouldn't even go with "job/co no longer aligns with my goals/values" because that just opens the door to a conversation you don't really want to have if you've made up your mind you're out of there. Lie. Tell them its a family issue, an education opportunity, you're moving to another town/country,... anything. But don't burn any bridges, no matter how strongly you feel about it.

(I speak from having taken the other route.)

You accomplish absolutely nothing by saying "Don't promote the new guy" at your exit interview. One usually outgrows the instant karma hero mentality by one's late 30s, so you've that to look forward to.

Always look out for yourself first, just leave and be polite with them(Management or whoever you tell you're leaving). Go with generic justifications.

Can you go over his head? I would be honest. What's the worst can happen, they fire you? You're leaving anyway.

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