Ask HN: If you enjoy parties, why? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: If you enjoy parties, why?

2 pointsagent008t6 comments

What do you get out of them? I could easily point out the negatives, not so much the positives: usually, they are loud and involve large groups of people, many of whom would not be very close friends. So you can't really have a proper conversation with anyone, have to keep things/activities fairly generic, and have to make sure you are pleasant and social with people you don't know well which is more work than pleasure. Nobody gets to do what they would actually prefer to be doing. People tend to go around with drinks taking photos of themselves and telling each other how much fun they are having, but it seems like they are more trying to convince themselves and their friends that they are having fun instead of actually having fun.

The only parties I have ever understood or enjoyed are ones focused on a specific activity. E.g. a LAN party playing some game a group enjoys would be fun. Or playing cards or a board game or even a sports game if you're into that. Otherwise, what do you actually do?

So - what makes parties enjoyable for you? What do you think people that don't enjoy parties might be missing / should try doing differently at parties so that they also derive great joy from them?

For me, parties are fun because of the other humans present.

Jokes, stories, laughter, insults, compliments, disagreements... those can be stimulating and rare experiences these days.

Sure, some of what you said is right - you can't play Xbox while you're at a party hanging out with people, and the opposite is true as well, you can't enjoy a party if you're off alone playing Xbox.

I'm an "all things in moderation, including moderation" type, so for me it's nice to occasionally explore the entire opportunity set available to me.

Plus, the social activity is good for your brain. We're built to interact and be social, at least to a certain degree.

Also drugs and booze can help a lot if you're at that stage of life!

I think there's a healthy middle ground between staying home and quietly reading 7 days per week and going out and getting wasted while shaking your booty 7 days per week.

> usually, they are loud

I like being in loud spaces sometimes.

> and involve large groups of people, many of whom would not be very close friends

I like meeting new people. That's how you make new close friends.

> So you can't really have a proper conversation with anyone

I have had some very good conversations at parties. The only time I've really seen it be too loud to talk is when the focus is dancing.

Because there's plenty of other types of parties that don't involve booze or loud music while still presenting an opportunity to start friendships or acquaintanceships. Sometimes they're a simple as a gathering where you can meet your friend's other friends to as complex as a board game party at a local Masonic lounge you read about on the Web.

They're a means of meeting new people or re-encountering acquaintances that you otherwise wouldn't see again, no?

The chance, however minimal, that you might get laid is reason enough to attend.

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