Hacker News Reader

Comment by TechnicolorByte | Hacker News Reader

Thai rings true IME. My (small) social circle died out with COVID/remote work/moving to the city and I’ve struggled to make connections because I’m not the type to initiate events. Realizing now that I’ve taken for granted these organizing people and will have to be comfortable becoming the “shameless type” and risk rejection if I want to make friends.

View on HN

I went through this probably a year ago and I think it’s probably something everyone should go through. Like immersion therapy for rejection.

> Like immersion therapy for rejection.

Love this phrasing

Problem isn't just the fear of rejection. There are legitimate reasons why some people get rejected more than others, whether it's looks, social skills or just lack of shared interests.

If you are part of those people, the "return on investment" in terms of socialisation diminishes - it's not about fear per-se, it's about the rational decision of not sinking time into an endeavour with a high failure rate if you have other, better options.

This is a good point. There’s definitely a different baseline ROI for different people.

But still, I was surprised how much of “how to make people like me” was pretty explicitly learnable.

But your point does still stand. If you’re happy where you are - you have “other, better options” - def doesn’t make sense to invest in something where you’re not gonna get the return you want.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com