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> For most of us, to love ourselves means we should be aspiring to something better, and not content with how we are now.

That is not love. Does loving your wife mean not being content with how she is now, and aspiring for her to be better? It does not

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Does it not? Try framing it more charitably. Someone suffers or will suffer or simply misses out on something you know theyd greatly appreciate because of their behaviour, if you love them will you ignore it? Or will you, while showing respect, endeavour to prompt or support their changing?

I think there are good and bad ways to express this, and I think the feeling itself isnt intuitive.

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