Not too keen on poly groups with kids though. That seems like a huge issue with custody. Kids have so little agency as it is.
Cite your sources?
There actually are people studying non-monogamous relationship models out there so yes those experts do exist if you seek them out.
If your source is just "in my experience" that's fine, just make it clear that's what you are citing. Because otherwise it's just the same appeal to authority issue that you are accusing me of.
__alexs: CITE YOUR SOURCES!
random_person: I just came from outside and noticed.
__alexs: OK, that is a perfectly reasonable response.
Nope, the "cite your sources" thing does not work here either. It belongs on the Talk pages of Wikipedia articles or at the most in discussions where something really contentious is put forward by someone who has not given any indication of where he got his information from.
Like this one apparently.
If that is their experience, they should say so, rather than saying what "usually" happens (their word).
"Cite your sources" is a somewhat combative way to say it, but they invited it by making broader statements than was justified.
A better conversation could have run, "In my experience, [bad thing]." And then somebody could say, "Oh, but in my experience, [good thing]. Perhaps we can put our anecdotes together and draw patterns. I'll start: the difference could be [X]".
I have no problems with such relationships. Certainly would never want to be in one and I don't believe they need state sanctions for anything. You can have the relationships you want and nobody stops you.
Maybe guardianship transferal could be made easier, but tax benefits for relationships should only be valid for people that actually have kids. It is also questionable for people in marriages that do not have them.
I've also seen poly people who were all into it equally, with various partners, not all of whom were shared amongst each other, if you get my meaning. I think if everyone is into the idea ahead of time then it can work for those involved.
AFAICT it varies a lot, and while we shouldn't generalise about all poly relationships, I think it's fair to say that some are the suffering-in-silence kind. But then you can say that about most relationship types.