I can't tell if this is sincere or a send-up, because it's literally Apple's apologetic for everything. Always blame the customer.
"If your phone has bad reception, it's because you're holding it wrong. Why would you hold it like that?"
"If your phone has bad reception, it's because you're holding it wrong. Why would you hold it like that?"
Especially if the children are young enough that you need to use parental controls.