>She actually did not know she couldn't have kids after her early 40s with her own eggs.
This is unsettling. How does a woman not know this? Where in the world is this?
This is unsettling. How does a woman not know this? Where in the world is this?
In reality, each year after age 35 chances of conception halve.
A woman who wants a family needs to be settled down with their partner by then, which means that she needs to have committed to their partner by at least, say, age 32, giving three years to assess the relationship.
Since most women want the best wedding both parties can get a loan for, and such weddings are often two years out, and most couples will wait until financially okay before trying for kids, realistically that woman needs to have made her decision on who to have kids with while still in her late 20s.
Popular entertainment and media do not portray this, they instead show women bar hopping into their late 30s. Hence, most women (my wife included) who bought into the representations of things like sex and the city, friends, etc did not really consider the amount of forward planning needed.
At that point, there's a rush to acquire a partner to mate with, with most men in that age group already deciding that they aren't interested.
The dynamics of dating for males at age 40 are very interesting. Merely having a job and sterility means they get approaches much more than they approach women.
Infertility is a socially stigmatized affliction, and so its presence in our society is understated.
It's not helped by celebrities having children well past their expected child-bearing ages, and pretending it was a non-IVF pregnancy.
I'm sorry but what kind of bubble of misinformation do you live in FFS?
Women are aware of what a period is and the connection to eggs when they start, they are aware of what menopause is, they are aware that eggs become less fertile with age.
This is common knowledge across the major Commonwealth countries (UK, Canada, Australia).
I'm not sure what your authority is to speak so authoritively and yet incorrectly for women at large particularly as it appears you had an actual university education in Canada but, seriously, check your circle .. and if if it's reinforcing your notions then consider having a wider and better informed circle and look to why it lives in a bubble.
I’m not sure why you’d love to see bubbles and “misinformation” here.
Maybe, but they aren't that aware of the timelines involved like I said in a sibling comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34386625#34387391
> I'm not sure what your authority is to speak so authoritively and yet incorrectly for women at large particularly as it appears you had an actual university education in Canada but, seriously, check your circle .. and if if it's reinforcing your notions then consider having a wider and better informed circle and look to why it lives in a bubble.
It's not really a bubble, it's popular culture constantly reinforcing the notion that a woman only needs to think about families in their mid-30s.
All the most popular (and watched) shows over the last 30 years that are aimed at 20s-30s almost always show people searching for and finding their life partner in their mid-30s.
In reality, if a woman hasn't made up her mind by age 30-32, then her time is very short.
How often is this issue even hinted at in popular culture?
It's not something that gets banged on about on a daily basis, but it gets a few mentions on Kath and Kim and comes up across the board (in pop culture drama shows) about as often as, say, young boys masterbating into their socks, etc.
In high school health and reproduction type classes it rates a few mentions.
Where do you live that most people are unaware of universal reproductive truths?