Healthcare is highly dysfuctional but I want to dampen the notion a little bit that it is in some unique and new kind of collapse today. Everything you are stating is nearly verbatim what was being said in the 1980s at the dawn of HMO legislation which was somehow supposed to fix things.
There has been a lot of pushing the food around the plate since then. My view is that there are three legs to the tripod of the healthcare system, providers, patients and insurers. For fourty years those three legs have been fighting each other on many fronts and no leg is willing to give substantial ground. If I had a magic wand I would bring into existence a being of profound integrity and leadership that could negotiate meaningful compromises between those three groups but I think practically speaking, that is a pipe dream. The current status quo will continue, more or less, how it is for several decades yet.
I will agree with the other comentator that if you are sick a direct access primary care doctor or concierge doctor can really help. In many cases they can end up saving money versus deductibles and by helping you find specialists and facilities in your budget and timeframe. They vary but can be found in most markets for $1500 - $3000 per year. That's not cheap by any means but something that can pay for itself quickly.
I would also say to OP, seriously consider becoming a direct access provider. Feel free to reach out to me and I can put you in touch with some folks who you can talk to. You are not alone in your sentiment and in large part those sentiments are what led to the creation of direct primary care.
du@50km.com