How did you find meaning in life after “making it”? | Hacker News Reader

How did you find meaning in life after “making it”?

2 pointsjungfan7 comments

Hi all, After working my butt off for a decade, I recently had a windfall. Nothing crazy but enough that I never have to work again.

That was about a year ago and I find that that life is generally just pretty "meh." On the one hand, it's great not to worry about basic life needs, but on the other, I haven't found a substitute for the startup grind (and no, it's not something I'm looking to do again).

I'm in my mid-thirties, committed relationship, no kids if that's helpful.

Any advice from people who've been through similar? How did you find your purpose?

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It took me a while. I didn't get enough that I never have to work again, but I did get enough that I don't have to work for many years and I can set my own terms.

Try to get bored. You will probably find that what you are expericing now is PTSD from the grind. It took me half a year if not more to get back to a healthy state of mind and begin enjoying the days and looking forward to the future opportunities, not just looking forward to relief.

When you say you are not looking to do the startup grind again, that makes me think you are still decompressing.

I am happy to tell you are more open and candid version, feel free to reach out directly.

If you're feeling a lack of challenge, there are pursuits which are unlike the tech world in that progress is very gradual (after all, when you are doing it as avocation, it is a feature, not a bug, that you are unlikely to top out in your remaining actuarial lifetime)

I've now easily 4k+ hours into a hobby I share with my spouse (20k+) yet we continue to improve, both in technique and in understanding. Had we not had this in common, I could imagine music (until death) or dance (as permitted by health) might have played similar roles in my life.

A friend podiumed at the Olympics; he now continues his sport as a secondary hobby, and considers his life work to be painting. (judging by one of his professional associations, taking up various arts is not uncommon among former olympic athletes)

> Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you, but it is most important that you do it. — MG (channelling Sideburns, no. 1, 1977, p. 2.?)

Congratulations.

Consider taking up as a hobby something you always liked or admired but didn't pursue because you were no good at it; perhaps you just didn't have time to develop the foundational skills before but you do now. This might be something creative, scientific, athletic or whatever; this would allow you to pursue some sort of non-fungible goal.

On the business side, consider sharing your acquired experience with those who have yet to experience your good fortune; review what advantages or disadvantages you had, and consider how you would have navigated toward your present economic security if those were different.

I have had a smaller success, but I still feel like you quite a few years later.

Something that has partially worked for me is to set up some challenges for myself, which I equate to getting a degree, except it is all self-motivated. I have “passed” one of my self-degrees and my current degree is called (tongue-in-cheek) my “Batchelor of Humanity” (BoH) where I just learn how to understand people better and generally get on with friends and acquaintances better. Currently, I feel that is a difficult to achieve goal, and I have some recent successes and failures. After some point I will decide on a significant goal as my “proof” of achieving the BoH (you can’t know a passing goal until you are skilled enough to set one?)

Meanwhile, I do mean to try this, but admit I haven’t: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29912252

You might find the concept of Ikigai interesting. Also, Arthur C. Brooks recently wrote a book, From Strength to Strength. I think his audience skews slightly older than you, but it's about how people find meaningful second careers by leveraging the wisdom they have gained in their first career.

Just my opinion, but there are tons of ways to find meaning, e.g. advising startups, angel investing, teaching, giving talks at your alma mater, generally helping people in different ways. It's not for everyone, but lots of people have kids and find meaning through them. You can also do stuff for your parents. Looking back on it, I wish I had just paid for a home improvement project at my parents' house rather than simply suggesting it to them and hoping they'd do it.

It's a good question I think. Even people who haven't reached the level of financial success that you have may struggle to find purpose in their lives.

I think about my death to inform the way I want to live. When the movie of my life plays in front of my eyes when I die, I want to be proud of my actions and so I try to have that perspective when I live my life. I ask myself, "What would "dead me" want me to do in this situation?"

The answers are less romantic than you might think. Something as simple as building a model train set could be very fulfilling to you, if it were aligned with your purpose.

This is your new "startup" grind ;)

Happiness is not just the lack of pressure (e.g. financial), though that's kind of a baseline.

I'd recommend looking for purpose by just trying things. Just do things you enjoy and are good at. That might look like "work" or it might not. Also observe which communities you enjoy being in, and get involved - again, this can look like "work" or not.

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