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The advice that I have most commonly heard and that I follow. If I loan money to a friend then think of it as a gift instead of a loan. I have given serious amounts of money twice and unfortunately they avoid me like the plague. I wish that they knew that I will never mention it.

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The advice is generally to MAKE it a gift - not secretly think of it as one. As you've experienced, the guilt can drive people apart from the borrower's side, even if you never ask for repayment, so you need to make it clear up from that none is expected.

Indeed that is the correct advice.

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