Some people subscribe to the idea that you can generate more energy through discipline or enthusiasm. In my experience, it's like dipping into your reserve tank. It works in short bursts but actually requires more effort to replenish (see burnout).
The older I get the more I'm starting to resent this idea of "being productive". Lions sleep 3/4 of the day, are they productive? Something something about the nature of play and learning in kids and this relentless focus on being productive..
Perhaps stop looking for the "right circumstances" to pursue your hobbies and just start engaging in them. Even if its only for 15 minutes a day. My hobbies restore my mental energy. If I get tired of coding, I go out in the woodshop and make something. Then I come back to coding and I'm more productive. Make sure your hobby is something orthogonal to what you do for work.
You can just get your work done. You don’t have to give 100% for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Some days it’s ok to be at 50%, and not feel guilty about it.
Sometimes I spend a few hours at work just learning stuff. I still get everything I committed to done.
At a certain point, I realized I was at the level that I spent years grinding to get to.
Once you’re there, recognize it. You can be a valuable person on the team whose input is important. A long time ago my dad once said “Get paid for what you know”. That had a profound impact on me.
If you’re still working on getting to your comfortable work/life balance, then by all means keep going. But keep checking to see if you already made it to where you want to be, or if you took on too much.
I get up at 4am! It's magical.
After coding for 8+ hours the last thing I want to do is keep sitting at my computer coding other things.
My current hobbies are:
- Practicing guitar
- Making stuff (woodworking, lately. I just made a nice bedside shelf with a drawer)I also (begrudgingly) write a lot of documentation and helper scripts because I know the next time I touch a project, I'll have forgotten how everything works, and will _not_ want to spend time going through all the code. Write a script to help you deploy, and document where you need to get the credentials from. You'll be amazed how you forget that you need to copy it up to an s3 bucket, and you'll also forget where to get the creds.
It's great having productive & rewarding hobbies, but don't beat yourself up over the fact you don't want to code for 12 hours a day.
I think there's this expectation that coders love coding so much that it's all we do. We're expected to have these amazing Github profiles with OSS contributions and side projects. But do sales people run lemonade stands in their spare time? No, they're out there skiing and taking photos on top of mountains (or whatever sales people do).
Not exactly what I was looking for but helped me feel better. Thanks!
Method A: Take a nap on the way home, or at home
Method B: Say "no" more at work, thus leaving gas in the tank
Method C: Be not-strictly-mentally productive after work, e.g. stream-of-consciousness writing, improvised music on an instrument you know well, etc.
Method D: Redefine productivity to fit the specification of whatever your "after work energy" is
Method E: Leave super clear side-project instructions and learning planned ahead of time, for weeknight you, as a gift from the weekend you (put a handle on it)
All of these have worked for me at some point or another. Good luck.
So, you could see what your baseline is, talk to peers (not HR), and see how the math falls out with whatever you want to spend your remaining time on.
I would count everything including meetings, email, required trainings, team events, etc. People would attend low priority meetings and just work through them, it was nuts. Perhaps you have less of this in your company / role.
1. people on the internet are full of shit
2. Demis Hassabis (DeepMind) takes a 3 hour break from work to, quote: "have dinner and spend time with family". Then has another work/thinking session. Give it a try. That's what I'm trying to do
And FYI FAANG isn't the endgame if you're unhappy. I got sick with IBS FAANG was so hyper-stressful, and I had to take disability. It was terrible. Don't let it get that bad, you might not ever go back. As a matter-of-fact, there's an IBS article trending on HN right now...
What helped me? Nature walks, new hobbies, finding new friends, joining a meetup group, learning about photography, learning about birds of my state, a bicycle, having a couple social nights a week to recharge any extrovert tendencies, joining a boardgame group, moving back to my home state.
There are also some freaks of nature who just can. Trying to catch them is a fools errand I've realized.
Energy is an illusion. What most people really mean by it is "mood." Am I in the mood, or not?
But mood is a terrible way to regulate your work. It is too easily affected by fatigue, the weather (particularly the amount of sunlight you get), the people around you, etc.
Therefore, I do 3 simple things.
1. Take a break after work. Relax. Chat with the kids. Whatever.
2. Start working whether I feel like it or not. Ideally, start at the same time every evening. (Usually, after I've been at it a while, I feel pretty good, no matter how I felt when I started. Your experience may or may not be similar)
3. Set a target. In my case, it's 1,000 words a day. I don't often hit it but this isn't life or death either. Having a goal and working toward it is what matters.
Bonus: Don't get stressed out if you miss one night because you feel lousy. These things happen. But try to stick to it anyway.
If you find you're never doing the work you think you should be doing, don't get stressed out then either. Just ask yourself how much it really matters to you. Maybe you aren't as dedicated to the particular thing as you think. Maybe try something else. See what happens.
Doing is better than not doing. But beating yourself hope for completely human failings is probably not the best way to get yourself to do better.
Step 2, you are broke and try different side project until one finally works enough to give you 500 more a month.
Step 3, you working harder than ever earning less than you did at your FAANG
Or
Take break from your FAANG job, travel, eat and live. Make friends in remote places and create a third world startup where you ipo into a semi-retired life or fail and go back to a FAANG
But it's possible these things aren't that important. I don't generally gave that much desire to do side projects. Why do even more of the same thing I do at work when so many other things are there to do?
Otherwise, depending on your schedule, I find waiting until after supper and having relaxed for a few hours makes a big difference
This has helped me to stay active working on things and learning stuff outside of my work hours.
I'll risk looking like I'm shamelessly self promoting myself, but here's my stream for an example of how you might go about it:
https://www.twitch.tv/aroreretini
I've been doing this for 5 years now and have met a small but wonderful bunch of folks, learnt a large amount across several different disciplines and generally enjoyed it all thoroughly.
Note, for me and others like me, the goal isn't to 'blow up' or get big on Twitch or elsewhere, but rather just to plod along learning & building in public as a means to stay active and focused.
If you'd like to explore this kind of thing, feel free to fire me a DM or email.
Good luck!
edit: thanks for sharing the M2M post, I hadn't come across that but it's absolutely incredible; 'twas a wonderful rabbit hole to go down :)
For me I find I usually fall into a 2/2/2 pattern for forming habits*: The first two days are super hard, after about two weeks it starts to feel doable, after two months the habit is pretty set and I don't have to worry as much about falling off the bus.
* This entire pattern is probably a placebo but that's fine by me
Of course, your energy is not infinite. If you are trying to work crazy hours and fit in other taxing activities, you are going to fail at some point.
- How L2-L3 software works (things that make Tailscale/Zerotier work; TUN/TAP interface, etc.)
- How distributed database works in complete details.
- Learning Korean & Mandarin.
- And definitely not Leetcoding because it's boring AF.
After I have a kid, a lot of my spare energy pool is drained already so I cannot just waste it on boring/tedious stuff.
Second: if I don’t want to do I side project then I don’t. If it’s not done for fun then it isn’t a hobby, it’s a chore. It’s work.
Workouts, meditation and whatnot will save your health, physical and mental but only uppers will gift you those extra hours of productivity.
Unless you are one of those vanishingly rare people who can just focus for 8 hours, take a break and focus again.
Like some others have commented after a day of work the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a screen.
Courage to you.
Please, do let me know if you found any right path regarding your thread. Thanks.
May have a negative impact on your day job, may not, worth finding out?
Are you struggling to keep your head above water? If so, why not just focus on work? If not, then why don't you just spend less time working and more time doing what you want?
I believe people have limited capacity, trying to stretch yourself will result in burn out. If you can afford it, allocate some of the capacity you are dedicating to work to the non-work things you are interested in. If you can't, then just focus on work until you can
Controversial position: Diversify and aim to accomplish more in life than extending zeros in the bank account game. Seek fulfillment elsewhere. Learn a new skill or hobby, invest in relationships, or otherwise find a life and your true soul outside of work. You can always make more money but you can't recover spent time. At all.
Consider not falling for The Big Lie.
Sincerely wish for and want the best life for you, Md
I work 4AM to 12 noon every day, then nap 2 hours, then work 2Pm to 6 pm on side projects. 6 to 7 Pm physical exercise, then sleep
Without that 2 hour nap I cannot do anything I’m too tired, you need to rest after work.
No children, no other commitments (I’m married but my partner finds my drive attractive, which is why I selected him)
I understand this might not be possible for people with more commitments
The thing that worked for me in the end was a static mental imagery, I was listening to a YouTube video and it said to imagine yourself on a lake, in a boat, looking at the sky, with no thoughts - this particular image didn’t work for me, but then they suggested imagine yourself in a dark room in a hammock - this image worked for me, and I was able to silence my mind and sleep quickly
After about 20 days of doing this, some kind of Pavlovian conditioning happened where my body understands that bed + this image means sleep now