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You know as much as I'm generally unhappy with what MS is doing with forcing TPMs on Windows 11, I have to say Bitlocker on Windows is basically single click and a perfect solution, and I'm a bit disappointed in the scale of every comparable Linux guide I just Googled up. I can see why the average company doesn't have it deployed.

LUKS isn't rocket science, you're looking at the wrong guides. using the TPM to encrypt a partition is a few commands on the shell.

Sure, perhaps, but parent’s point still stands that AWS techs are not plugging USB drives into servers, because their threat-model already includes state-sponsored attacks.

Not necessarily SE, there's been tons of 0days exploited against stuff like WHMCS, Hostbill, Kayako and many other systems used by hosting companies to manage this kind of thing.

Colocation and epoxy in any relevant ports is the obvious way to avoid this.