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Comment by fullsend | Hacker News Reader

I wish we lived in a society that normalized breaking up or having different forms of relationships and acknowledged how hard it is to spend so long around one person. Instead of this weird situation where we act like staying together forever monogamously is the healthy default. I’ve actually come to think those people are overly codependent. The number of people I see who “make it work” and suffer, with such a short life to enjoy…but being alone is hard. It is tough to know what is the right move.

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Honestly I think we’ve already gone really far in this direction, maybe too far. Short term, commitment-free relationships are the norm. Alternative relationship structures like polyamory are pretty common and generate little controversy. Divorce rates are high.

It's a bit unfair to project your judgement on to others about what living situations are healthy or not for them. Who's forcing monogamy upon us these days? Different relationship styles or more prevalent than ever before, with a possible exception being the bisexual orgy free-for-all that was Roman times.

A "healthy" situation for one person often may not translate to healthy for another, these norms exist across a wide spectrum. This is one reason it's nice to not live in a house with 30+ people sharing a single room. Human creatures are made of the same matter but are vastly different in terms of needs, experience, emotions, and mentalities.

Edit: @Fezzik who forced the people you mention into the ascribed situations? It sounds like they chose it themselves and went on to regret their decision. While an unfortunate outcome, they've exercised their own agency. Nobody can force you to take the red pill.

OP is not projecting, they they are observing. I have observed they exact same thing in numerous couples that I am close friends with, and with people at work - they tell me they are miserable with their partner but don’t want to start over. Or they have kids and think need to stay in a loveless marriage for the kids. You can observe the fights, and the weight gain, and the general unhappiness and lack-of-joy in people that remain in these unhealthy relationships. They are innumerable.

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