> "what software do you build in Forth?"
Like others I indeed started with making my own Forth dialect (actually more than one try; and yes one of them could compile itself), but now it is my go-to scripting language. My latest script for instance was about converting some flat files format into an SQlite database. I also use it to prototype and test things, and I have a program that run and works for me 24/7. Can't really say more because it is partly work-related.
> Specifically, managing a dynamically changing list was basically a nightmare
So don't do it. Or do as everyone else does: use some C library/do it in C. You don't have to do everything in pure Forth, there's no law about that and being able (or not) to do anything in pure X doesn't prove anything.
Or just allocate 1Mb for your todolist file (or limit the number of entries) and accept that if you need more, you'll have to edit one constant in your program. I don't see anything wrong with that. Some of my scripts have hard-coded parameters and I can imagine a user would be reluctant to edit something in alien incantations, but I can also imagine using the flexibility of Forth to create a more familiar "syntax" and make it so that those parameters are in a separate script, so that it looks more-or-less like a configuration file to the profane.
You have no idea how we actually are narrow-minded, not creative and driven by habits about how things should be done. Forth won't get you a job, but at least it can open your mind and this reportedly is a portable (to other languages) quality.
Also, avoid "what if" - especially with practice programs you don't plan to actually use. "what if" is the FUD device by excellence.
> When I asked a group of Forth programmers why it is so difficult they just said "Forth is not suited for that problem"
The whole point of Forth is that it is, in essence, a recipe for a language you can make yourself. If your Forth is not suited to the problem, then adapt it. Forth is not a dogma.