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Food is definitely an obsession during my depressive episodes, especially if there is a suicidal component. I think constantly about food, I'm always hungry but at the same time everything disgusts me, I would like to not have to eat anymore: this ends up in a bulimic episode where I gorge everything in side, searching for something that fills that void and that taste just good, then I fast for 20-30 hours completely disgusted about what I've done.

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The unfortunate thing is: we can't live without food. We can't switch it off. It doesn't disappear when we throw our mobile phone in the garbage can.

> completely disgusted about what I've done

Sorry to hear that. I sometimes eat out of boredom/anxiety too; it's almost unavoidable. Don't feel too bad. It helps me to simply not buy the things I like. You do have to do your shopping every day, though.

But remember: this internet stranger isn't disgusted by you.

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