...vs., jumping over to Ars Technica (called out in these comments for having 80% of commenters assume that Mastodon is a for-profit Twitter competitor), and their "20 Most-read Stories of 2022" article - gosh, maybe three stories of their Top 12 fit any of those templates.
Conclusion: Article author's mental image of "tech journalist" is actually "tech gossip columnist" - for people who want to sound cool & informed, but wouldn't actually want to know anything useful about tech.