Based on those questionably real experiences relating to your coworker's pronouns and last name, it kinda seems like you decided in advance to now plant your flag on being standoffish and pretty foul towards people who chose not to act as sex they were assigned at birth, by calling their gender identity "imaginary" when the topic comes up. Which is just prejudice I think? Kind of a pick your battles moment really, are you really going to preemptively be irritated at any mention of nonbinary or trans people forever?