I don't know, I have been a professional software developer for 15 years, and my whole house is smart. The trade offs are worth it to me.
The conventional light switches never fail. The dimmer switches go out every 5 years or so, and I eventually get fed up and just replace them with a conventional switch.
I've had programmable thermostats, but the user interfaces on them are so terrible I eventually replace them with one with a simple dial and thermostat.
Before that I will have turned on a dim salt lamp in our bedroom with a small butten I have near the bed, as to not wake my gf. I turn it off with the wall switch while leaving the room.
The light in the hallway is dim because it is still early. Since he didn't poop I only need a dim light in the changing area operated by my foot.
Various lights in the house turn on automatically by movement or door opening. Lights near the front door go on dinly just before subset and get brighter with movement. The wall switch in the kitchen turns on multiple lights including cabinet downlighting.
These things and more, and the fact I can change them relatively easily and wihtout rewiring, I find convenient and that brings me value.
You don't have to understand though, we both can like different things.
The ones I use are made by Lutron, who has a long history of making conventional light switches. They act just like normal switches, and I could sell my house without the home automation system, and it would be perfectly functional for the new owner.
Having carefully designs home automation brings lots of little conveniences. When I walk into a room when it is dark, the light automatically turns on. When it becomes cloudy during the day, lights in the darker living areas turn on. When I go to bed, I press one button, and all the lights in the house turn off, and the motion sensors are disabled. Another button press in the morning re-enables the sensors and turns on the lights in all the "morning activity" areas of the house.
Bottom line is that I seldom have to press a light switch. I always automagically have light when and where I need it.
I just don't think of it as a burden. I don't think about it at all. My hand goes up to the switch.
I know I don't think about it, because when the power goes out my hand still automatically turns the switch on, even when I'm carrying a lamp. There's a second where I blink wonderering why the light didn't go on.
I have some 1-watt LED lights plugged in and on all the time, so I don't fall down the stairs. I figure the 1 watt is less than the power draw of motion detectors, etc.
Lolz aside, as an engineer, the main turnoff for me is not the privacy, though that is a concern, but the introduction of complexity. I like my house like I like my software: clean and minimalistic :)
I am fed up with phone apps already because of that, nearly no month or several week goes by without one warning me: UPDATE! NOW!
And then when you update its behaviour is altered, many times functionalities you liked are gone. The whole thing is more like a nuisance than genuine help.
Exposing myself potentially to the same kind of problems concerning my whole home?! No thank you!
(recently, after long deliberation and consultation with my keen wife, I gave up the idea of robotic vacums. some are excluded due to shameless price or physical configuration, but many due to the inability to operate without a phone app. i will do my vacuuming without connecting to home wifi, thanks)
It doesn't matter if it's the best vacuum or the most secure vacuum or even the cheapest, for us it matters if it actually gets used and thus the floors are cleaner.
Same reason I've come to like our stick vacuum: we're far more likely to use it than other vacuums that are technically better but are heavier/louder/more difficult to store/etc.
I have also used them to relocate a switch to a more useful place for much cheaper/in a rental. (Automatic switch in the out of reach or inconvenient location, battery switch in reach of where I want it).
Smart lights and outlets are the only smart thing in my home and they really are great imho
It was sorta a pain to set up, over half a decade ago, now it’s small tweaks now and then but otherwise just works.
Smarthomes are currently better at monitoring than they are at control, there's just not that much that needs real automation
Security.
> unless you think a burglar is obsessed with your house in particular
IMO burglars are obsessed with an easy score - "Lights on looks like someone is home - fuck it I will rob the empty looking house up the street"