Finding a partner becomes hard, especially if you expect her to be 5-10 years younger.
I used to be rather successful with women, was never single, always could find someone easily. I'm 45, in good shape with a good job, but it has became much harder.
The good news for GP is I think for a lot of people what you consider to be much harder is just the norm.
Same goes for OP. I'm literally his age, don't own property, have less in savings (I don't work in tech), and consider myself both lucky and free. Also lucky not to live in the US, where other people's perceptions of your relative wealth seems much more important for dating / social life etc.
Perspective governs so much of how meaningful and rich our lives seem. I look at my family / contemporaries who have children, or have crushed themselves at a desk for twenty years and feel inestimable gratitude I didn't sacrifice my life on that alter. OP's problem is a long period unemployment and depression, not some kind of nebulous 'failure'. Fortunately it's readily fixable. 43 is not remotely 'past it'.
I think a lot of women experience the same upon reaching middle age. In their 20s and early 30s, getting a date, sex, long-term relationship, etc. was as easy as firing up the app and letting a dozen men dance like monkeys for the chance to take her out.
By late 30s, this dynamic is gone for most women, and even starts reversing itself where by 40's, many men - and not just the "alphas" or gay men who also had an easy time in their younger years - have a lot more power in the dating market, though mostly because they aren't so beholden to their hormones, and can make decisions based on what benefits a particular women and relationship brings to his life. In most cases, the negatives outweigh the positives, and thus women and gay men now get to experience the same odds that most men dealt with all their life.
But in any case, I think it's not that different as wanting a wife and kids. You need to be able to seduce someone, whether it's for a casual relationship, or for marriage. It's start with physical attraction either way. I don't think mentioning "I want to get married and have kids" will give you a free pass which is ironic considering many women complain men only want casual relationships.
Modern dating where people meet online makes it harder too. A gay friend of mine who is 60 years old says that back in the day, he would meet guys in saunas or bars, and older guy would have a chance. But online, nobody want to meet a 60 years old guy.
I think this just comes off as moving too quickly. After a few weeks of successful dates and comfort levels built, I've found this to be acceptable to mention casually, especially in a conversation meant for discussing goals.
It also softens things to say it like "Yea, someday I want to be married and have kids" but in a tone that doesn't include the woman you're dating yet.
They already know you're dating them presumably for this goal if you mention it, but it also communicates you aren't desperate and already thinking this far ahead with this person (even though you probably already are).
There’s a huge difference between seducing someone for a casual relationship and forging a deep friendship with the person who becomes your life partner.
You're also most likely much more selective. In your 20's and 30's, there's no feeling of a clock ticking.
I guess my point is prioritize fundamental character (honesty, communication, loyalty, values, etc), and someone you can have fun with. The rest can be taken care of with time and effort.