What do you do with her when you are out with friends? Restaurants, etc?
Could this be just her personality and we got lucky? Possibly. But I'm willing to bet it also has to do with her not being used to screens and instead being used to focusing on the environment in front of and around her. There are studies about the association between screen time and ADHD symptoms.
He also sits with us, eats with us. Sometimes we do bring a toy car, or pencils for him to draw. But that’s it.
Great side effect is that he eats everything. From olives to onions. He sees us eating and he mimics. That’s the whole parenting game imho.
I don’t believe you are lucky. You’ve simply set the standard for your child, by _not_ providing a screen for every situation.
Well done:-)
Brilliant! Way better than screens in my opinion.
And youtube.
It’s literally the only way to get him to sit still for any amount of time (that I’ve found anyway), so that’s what restaurant time has become.
Doesn’t mean he always wants to or gets to watch a video, especially if he can run about outside instead, but if we’re eating in a restaurant that’s otherwise dreadfully boring to him, yeah.
Now if outside the restaurant context, you were constantly giving him Youtube time in lieu of real world activity, I would encourage different behavior.
Like you, I try to foster in my kids an interest in everything around them. Absolutely everything is an interesting topic of discussion. Or a way to build an observational challenge - can you point to something purple? Or triangle-shaped? What instruments can you hear in this music?
If friends expect my son to act as a dog, it’s their wrong.
As a parent of a 3 year old in the UK, with friends and restaurants we'd just talk to them or they'd colour, read, etc. Maybe cultural, but it would be seen it as pretty unusual/rude to have a kid with an iPad at a table in a restaurant; although I agree it's a lot to ask of 3 year old to sit there for hours.
My kids are really well behave in restaurant and never ask for screens (I'm not even totally sure they would think of it). The trick for us is regularly flowing food, allowing them to bring bring a small toy, coloring utensils, and honestly just engage with them. That could be through visual and word games or just talking to them and asking the right questions. It's hard work, not every meal out is perfect, and sometimes it feel like it would just be easier to give them the phone. But I'm happy that we've taken this stance. I can't tell you how many times a restaurant owner or a nearby table has said how well behaved our kids are.
There are a lot of great replies to my question. I'm happy I asked it.
An adult can excuse themselves, step out for some fresh air, go to the bathroom, or even go home. Knowing how and when to do that is an important skill.
Kids need that outlet too, and they need their parents to be attuned to their needs and help them manage.
If a kid is melting down at a restaurant, they need help from an adult who ought to have some idea what the child needs and how to provide it.
Too many parents seem to think their own desire for an uninterrupted meal is more important than their child's basic biological need to be able to get out of an overwhelming situation. It's not fair to trap someone somewhere they don't want to be and then blame them for becoming upset.
There is no question that iPads are the easiest solution, but it’s rarely the best solution, and it’s certainly not necessary. Humanity survived for thousands of years without having iPads for kiddos at restaurants.
Thing is that statement applies to a lot of the adults (with phones) in the restaurant too. It's sad and telling.
Mine were very happy to draw, read picture books, etc. at that age.