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Epic could also, in that case, offer subscriptions that can only be canceled at a storefront in Peoria between 1am and 4am on alternate Tuesdays.

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Epic could already do that. So could Apple, for that matter - but neither of them do. Total whataboutism.

Epic currently can’t do that on iPhones in their apps because in-app subscriptions all use Apple’s subscriptions system and can be managed in one place

If you wanted to use an abusive subscription system currently you would have to do it outside the app via a web browser

You would have to do it outside the US, which has many laws that regulate how you can offer subscriptions online. https://www.gunder.com/news/u-s-state-laws-impose-new-obliga...

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