Are You Stuck in a Girls' Club?
blogs.hbr.org
blogs.hbr.org
There's a bit of subtle social normed behavior described by the author in her anecdote about the male VC introducing two female CEOs to each other - I'd probably do the same thing in the VC's position (offer an unsolicited introduction to another female CEO) because I don't know what is most comfortable for the female introducee due to how relatively rare they are.
However, if I'm given a specific ask for introduction in the form of "someone who can help me [accomplish business goal X]" then that tears down some doors for me when it comes to putting my political capital to work.
In a way, what the author describes is a kind of Abeliene Paradox (inability to manage agreement)... If the male party assumes that the female party wants introductions to other females and the female party doesn't specify otherwise, then that's what's going to happen.
Great read!
I agree with everything in your comment, but I would have emphasized that unlike women, men do not need to ask to be introduced to men, which is a major material advantage that men have in business over women. I do think it is awkward to have to ask for something like that.
In any case, it's great to get the word out there that this is something that women have to compensate for, both so men are aware of it and as a tip to women on how to get those male connections.
They may not INTEND to sound as if "furthering women is job #1" -- but they give out a message that it's important to them, perhaps inadvertently.
This won't-intro-me-to-men thing has never happened to me. However, I don't make a big deal out of the fact that I'm a woman. I also don't tend to do things like go to "girl geek dinners" or whatever, because I find them sexist & obnoxious.
What does happen to me is that women "in technology" will presume that I am interested in them, agree with them, support their agenda, value the things they value, etc., simply because I have breasts and a vagina. Which irritates the daylights out of me. (Their presumption, that is, not my equipment.)
The OP author makes a great point -- try to meet the people who are the best people for you to meet, regardless of in-born traits. I definitely agree with it. I simply also believe women have more of a hand in causing these situations for themselves than they want to admit.
You want to advance; focus on adding value to the company and do a good fucking job!
Because that is how you advance beyond "good Engineer" - which really only brings you up to upper middle-class levels of wealth. If you want to go further? connections are pretty important.
>You want to advance; focus on adding value to the company and do a good fucking job!
Yeah. This can earn you a very comfortable salary, and if you live frugally and invest well, maybe a retirement in your 50s. I mean, not a bad life; but if you want to go further? connections are pretty key.