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Comment by bheadmaster | Hacker News Reader

> You actually pay attention to how you’re feeling

I see, so it's similar to the mindfulness concept taught in Gestalt therapy? I guess that's why I don't like it - paying attention to how I'm feeling doesn't really change the way I'm feeling, which frustrates me, because I'm expecting it to affect my feelings, when in reality... it just makes me more conscious, and things stay as bad as they were before.

Assuming it's not supposed to change how you feel (directly) - what is the purpose of being conscious of how you feel?

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Being conscious of how you feel gives you a second perspective on your feelings, one that your rational, problem-solving mind can look at, rather than only the instinctive one where all you can do is react to them.

That second perspective also adds a layer of relief between you and the emotions. You're now looking at them rather than being at their mercy. You can act now. You're back in a role of agency. Even if the options available to you are limited, it's very rare that you actually do not have any, but the element of your brain that's overwhelmed by the emotions can't see that.

Even if the only option you recognize from the second perspective is, "I cannot currently think of anything I can do to improve the situation, so I choose to continue with my current course of action, waiting and looking for a change I can make as things change (and things are always changing)," you're now in a situation where you've exercised some level of agency. You're not powerless. You're waiting and thinking and observing for now. And that sits differently.

Sometimes it does help, but, imo, the point of mindfulness is not to be happy, it's in the definition itself: to simply be more aware. I don't feel happy when I'm aware of my misery, I just am aware I'm miserable.

That awareness can often lead me to a solution because I wasn't even aware of the problem until I sought awareness. I'll be kicking around the house pissed off, not even aware of it, and then do a dumb mindfullness activity, and thus the annoyance is brought full into my conscious attention, "oh right I'm pissed off right now. Why? Shit, I forgot to eat breakfast, I'm hungry." or "I didn't walk today, that probably isn't helping," or, "I'm stressed about the three tickets I gotta get done, lemme just write them out as a TODO to at least externalize the stress." And then I can feel a bit better.

Or, not, I'll be like "I'm too pissed off to even think about why I'm pissed off." At least I'm not a slave to my emotions then, which is an important value to me: control. Even if I'm going to be angry or sad or whatever regardless, I like the additional awareness.

> And what's the point of that, if it doesn't help?

It does directly help some people and even more people realise how they are feeling and do something about it once previously subconscious knowledge is conscious.

> Assuming it's not supposed to change how you feel (directly) - what is the purpose of being conscious of how you feel?

Because it can manifest in how you communicate and treat others. Recognizing your emotional state doesn't necessarily change it, but it can change how you react to your feeling. Recognition precedes reaction -- or rather, reaction with conscious intent.

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