.... I could move to a small town. I've always lived in a large metropolis and, to be frank, I'm tired of it. I can't move to Monaco, or make the global population decrease by 90%, but I could move to a smaller community in my state. I think this is what I need to start building more relationships with other people.
Don’t wish for universal non anonymity unless you really know what it’s like, especially if you’re not willing to join the local moral majority.
Is actually people being nice (for the most part) in my experience. The failure modes you describe are a possibility, but far from a certainty.
People generally community and a sense of belonging, and I would wager are typically happier with it than without.
The kind of toxicity you find in small communities is just different than big ones.
If you deviate from that in some small way, it gets a lot harder. That includes being from the wrong class, or religion, or ethnicity or political leaning.
Or just being suspected of being something you're not. Some people in Salem in the 1600s learned the hard way what happens when these wonderful small town people aren't so nice...
Even though there's truth in all of that (cities are plagued by these problems) it's an overly pessimistic take and is not equally applicable in all cases.
So too with your description of small towns.
Any society can leave you under the boot of some person (or impersonal system).