Comment by phlipski | Hacker News Reader

Comment by phlipski | Hacker News Reader

Identical twin here. My brother and I are/were completely different academically. I excelled in math/school - he struggled. I graduated with an engineering degree, he didn't and struggled in high school and college. He ultimately did earn his bachelors degree - but not until his late 30's. There are some area's where we share similar thoughts, and some where we drastically diverge. To this day when I look at baby pics from ages 0 to around 3 I have no clue which one is me unless the pic has been labeled.

I'm now the father of twin girls (fraternal) and they are basically two completely different human beings who happened to share the same womb and birthday. They are NOTHING alike.

I also have 2 other siblings, and though I communicate the least with my twin these days - I still feel and share a bond with him that I'll never have with my other siblings and I can't quite explain it.

All that said I can't wrap my head around this idea that twins "think alike because they're twins." I think the simple answer to this case is that both of those women are smart and studied hard. And if you're really worried about it - put them in different classrooms and make them re-take the test. Sure would have saved a bunch of time and legal fee's!

  > I still feel and share a bond with him that I'll never have with my other siblings and I can't quite explain it.

May I bother you with a request for perspective? A neighbour lost one of his identical twins at 6 months old. Both twins were born around 700 grams, and were under treatment (incubation possibly, but I'm not sure) in the house for many months. I do not know if they were together during treatment or not.

The twin who lived does not know that she had a twin sister - at around age two or maybe three the family took down the photographs of the deceased twin and stopped talking about her. Might that have some lingering effects on the living twin? Of course I'm asking about the general case, not this specific case, because obviously I cannot provide enough information over a short HN comment. But in your opinion, as someone with an unexplainable bond unlike that with other siblings, might such a bond persist even had you not known about the existence of your twin? How might that affect you if so?

To be clear, I have no intentions of revealing what I know and would never betray the parent's wishes.

Intereting question... my younger brother was a twin as well, born prematurely and incubated for months. His twin didn't make it and to this day he claims his twin took part of his brain or will (not sure exactly what he means)

I've always dismissed it as an excuse for not doing well in school & life... but I sometimes wonder if it's a legit phychological "hold" of some sort.

I see. Thank you for sharing. My condolences for your family.

I'm hard pressed to think I'd have the same bond if I had lost my twin at 6mo. I don't really have any memories pre age 3 so I'd assume I'd grow up just thinking I was an only child. This also assumes my parents removed all trace of my twin.

It's an interesting thought experiment.

Seeing someone who looks just like you every day for 18 years (and being constantly called by two different names) I think does something to you. It's an experience most people don't have.

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