Ask HN: How would you approach an Intelligence Agency to join them | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How would you approach an Intelligence Agency to join them

4 pointsjonas_kgomo10 comments

Suppose you want to join an intelligence agency, either in UK, US, Africa or otherwise. How would one approach this, are there specific events you need to go to, websites you need to apply to, people you might want to speak to. This should be seen as a diplomatic role in aiding two countries(in most cases you have to be a citizen in respective countries). Has anyone ever successfully interviewed or been approached by some intel?

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First work for the military or the FBI and get recruited from there. Or become a Mormon. Mormons have a relatively high representation in the FBI and State Department due to their aversion to common "vices", like drinking, drugs, and extramarital affairs.

I'd assume it's not easy to apply directly without a reference or prior government work due to the adverse selection problem. You want to make it hard for double agents to get recruited so I assume they have more of a "don't call us, we'll call you" policy.

For the US there is USAJOBS.gov. Make sure you look for jobs that are 'Open to the public' No need wasting time looking at a job you cannot apply for.

Since Covid many of them have virtual job fairs.

The clearance is the hardest part. You should be able to find discussions of that online. A major problem is the usual time it takes to get a clearance. Do not expect to have an interview and start in less than a few months.

In the UK and US you have to be a citizen, not sure about other places. You do not need to be native.

It is often easier to start off as a contractor and then get hired.

To quote the last one of those sort I spoke with: "You can use the website."

(I assume she meant fsb.ru, but please use cia.gov since the Russians are rude little shits.)

I strongly discourage you from getting anywhere near those sorts, they're the worst, they will take everything they can get out of you, ratfuck you for shits and giggles, then complain you seem radicalized and try to kill you with a robot.

(Also I'm not in the CIA, I'm just an angry bald man who's good at computers and geopolitics)

You can apply for most of them. Then take a drug test and polygraph. If you are among the remaining less than 10% passing you may be offered a job after they interview your family and friends.

>drug test

Drat, know any good paths for someone who uses cannabis?

Stop using it and lie about it on your polygraph (polygraphs don't work anyways)

But make sure there's no evidence of having used it (friends, etc). Also shave all your hair?

Having used drugs or using drugs is an immediate disqualification I think.

I’ve met those people. They act like running cross someone who’s never held a clearance in their life on Tinder is the same as being an extortion victim.

(If I wanted a sob story about how it’s hard to be a mom I’d install the Lifetime application… I’m on Tinder to smoke trees and get laid, and that should have been abundantly obvious from the copy in my profile, which I’ve since edited to be more… explicit.)

Back when I was about to graduate college, I applied to the NSA.

They sent back letter written by what looked like a typewriter saying I would have to schedule an onsite interview.

A popular joke in the 1980s among certain groups in the DC area was, if you wanted to join the NSA, pick up the phone, call your mother, and ask for an application.

Do you really want to work for a quasi-criminal organisation?

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