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Comment by ggeorgovassilis | Hacker News Reader

> Any one who has overcome this fear

Yes, but you're not going to like the answer: I stopped caring. Not because that is the best solution, but the only one that worked for me with my limited skill set. I focus on the topic and blatantly assume that my contribution outweighs my presentational shortcomings. People keep seeking my input despite that, so the sum must be a net positive or everybody is just crazy.

I read some of your HN contributions, you seem to be a based person. I think I would enjoy working with you and you probably get along well with others in your organisation. I think people hold you in higher regard than you think they do.

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A 'I totally don't care about you fools'-attitude was my solution, too. It worked great for me and I love it. I get on stage and have a deep 'love me or hate me, I don't care, that's my show' feeling.

After I told to myself that I have this attitude, I started to be able to play with the audience's attention instead of focusing on myself.

It's a bit more nuanced for me, I just wanted to keep my comment short. I love most places I work at, I want to contribute as much value as I can and keep harm away from the company and my colleagues. Given my skills and limitations, it boils down to a simple dilemma: either I contribute and make people mad at me or I shut up and let them walk into their own demise.

You sound young, because it’s never so simple. Sometimes it is far easier and cheaper to fail and then correct than fight for a perfect solution up front.

People really don’t like failing. And they’ll often fail faster than you imagine. If you’re looking for reading material, pick up “How to win friends and influence people”

> You sound young

Thank you :-)

> because it’s never so simple

I thought I made it abundantly clear that the reality of the situation overwhelms me and oversimplification is the only way that I could make work.

> A 'I totally don't care about you fools'-attitude was my solution, too.

This attitude sorted my entire life, and it keeps solving more and more problems.

I am so glad that I adopted this mindset very early in life (late teens).

Related to "not caring" is "realizing that others don't notice near as much as you do".

It's like hearing your own heartbeat as you're trying to fall asleep. No one else can hear it; they also don't notice slight pauses nearly as much as you do. Take the time you need and plow through it.

> "realizing that others don't notice near as much as you do"

Not a necessary truth

OK, I should probably amend that. Verbal fillers and overused words are often more noticeable to the audience than to the speaker (or umm-ahh-er). Those tend to not be judged very harshly though and are rarely a reason to be fearful of how you're perceived while public speaking.

I remember in earlier days of Tesla, Elon Musk was not really great at his presentation skills. Looking at him I was like I might just be able to pull off my presentations like him. Kinda helped with my confidence.

People really don't care. They might chuckle for a moment if you really goofed up but they forget very fast. It's us who amplify what others might be thinking. Someone said it rightly:

We suffer more in imagination than in reality.

Then there's my case, I spoke in an insanely monotonous, mind numbing way during presentations (which I was unaware of), and all the teachers in school lied to me and pretended nothing was wrong to not hurt my feelings or something. There my classmates suffered in reality, or at least I would have.

Teachers, please don't do this, do your fucking job and be honest. School is the best time to work on things like this.

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