If you're a coder in your 20's and you're not degrading yourself for the chance to be in the same room as a wealthy man that doesn't care an iota about you or your life, what are you even doing? /s
You may not owe wealthy men better, but you owe this community better if you're participating in it. The issue is what this sort of bile does to us, in our own community.
It's a big club, and you ain't in it.
What is unusual however are those who are consistently sleazy.
Nobody intelligent spends their time hanging out or working with likely backstabbers, if they have any other choice.
Which is why I feel confident in my assertion, even though I haven't personally inspected every private club and office in the region.
Omg. Then what isn’t exploitative?! There’s always a bit of a selfish motive in developing partnerships or friendships even.
This is next level victimization.
You never know what people's intent is, and you should assume the best until proven otherwise, but like you say, a spade is a spade, and being nice is useful to the people being nice.
I say this as someone who sees nothing wrong with cranking out 60+ hour weeks if that's your thing.