Us regular human beings call this 'fun' if that's any help to you?
If it's just ragging on PHP's deficiencies, (a) that's old-hat, and (b) most of what the author teases about isn't actually a problem with the language.
I read the author as being a non-British English speaker.
What ho, old bean. Yes, I am.
> What ho, old bean.
That's Jeeves and Wooster. And that was itself a parody.
I use some archaic phrases; I refer to "chaps", some disgraceful act being "a bit off", my hat is my "titfer" (cockney rhyming slang hasn't been restricted to cockneys since the 50s). But I don't pretend to be an Edwardian bourgeois twit, like the ridiculous Rees-Mogg.
I'm sorry I didn't get your humour; it's a drag to have to explain a joke.