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Comment by P5fRxh5kUvp2th | Hacker News Reader

> Have we considered ways to make bullies not want to bully? That seems way more productive to me.

At over 40 years of age I've had to deal with people attempting to bully me, most of them are completely shocked when they realize they can't.

My point here is that if you think bullying is something that stops at graduation then sure, that sounds like a reasonable position, but the premise itself is wrong.

One of my favorite lines:

> Bullies don't stop being bullies when they graduate, they just get lawyers.

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Do you think that if bullies were stopped when young, they might be able to turn into adults that don't bully?

Regardless, as others have said here, I have way more avenues for dealing with bullies as an adult, including but not limited to getting my own lawyers.

This is a good point. Policing bullying in school (when young) may work if one can catch it in the act but this bully behavior never stops in adulthood, it starts taking different forms. Being aware of bullies and not being affected by their actions helps but they will only find a different target.

I think the point the OP is trying to make isn't to police bullies, but to figure out the influences on the child to be a bully, and to correct for that, so that the kid doesn't bully in the first place.

And if everyone practiced abstinence, teenage pregnancy wouldn't be a thing.

But, as it turns out, people fuck, and it's far more effective to teach people how to deal with sex than to argue the "real" solution is abstinence.

Actually, sex education is an excellent metaphor here. Teenage pregnancy happens when you assume by not addressing how teen pregnancy happens, teenagers won't fuck. However, teenage pregnancy goes down when you give access to safe sex, robust sex education, and effectively take away the forbidden fruit of fucking.

Similarly, teaching kids how bullying functions and a robust environment that prevents the causal factors of bullying can cut down on the actual bullying behavior.

Thankfully after graduation we get the ability to often walk away from them however. Unless they're a HOA president I suppose

I'm curious when you've encountered bullying after high school? I'm over 50 and haven't seen it since (and I was a frequent victim back then).

too many to count, but just to name a few

- property manager put a lock on the door 3 days before I had to be out, went in and removed a few of my animals. Took the bitch to court, to this day I'm not sure if she was unaware that there are laws on the books in my state SPECIFICALLY to deal with that exact situation.

- VP got pissed off at me and told my manager to write me up. I refused to sign the document, immediately quit, and she was fired roughly 8 months later. 10 months later that same manager contacted me wanting to hire me (I refused).

I could go on, but I won't. If you've never dealt with a malevolent person who actively wanted to take advantage of you in over 30 years, congratulations. But that sure as shit isn't normal.

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