US/EU/most of world are systemically incapable of doing a hard lockdown even if they wanted to. Most of PRC including SH managed to coast through a year with relative normality on zero covid and now you're forced to experience what people who took covid seriously went through in countries that couldn't prevent spread and had to live with covid because vax ended up not being able to either. Yes, much more rigorous version, but not so exceptional relative to vunerable people who needs to take max precautions, and still do since the start.
Yeah, sucks you don't have a choice, but comparing notes with cousins in SH their lockdown experience is about as shit as experiences of some people I know in here in CAN, and on par according to friend went through UAE lockdown earlier then SH. Granted my cousins were well prepared due to advice to stockup from abroad, and of course people in CAN are not forced to do what they do, but merely had to exercise maximum caution due to being part of extra vunerable demographic. Who had to functionally impose harsh self quarantining while covid spreads rampant and seething at unfairness of others breaking basic guidelines while wishing powerless gov could do something about it, because ultimately people don't give a shit about each other when gov doesn't enforce. Personally lived with frontline worker and constantly worrying about their safety and mine for a year+ sucked balls, even after vax because you still risk spreading to others, from family to strangers whose vunerability status you do not know.
Maybe you don't care anymore - most people stopped caring. Low-risk people who just want covid to be "over" are the first ones to move on. Seems like you're a decent person, who shared food with your 90 year old neighbour. You're justifiably frustrated, everyone in my Canadian city was after a year of mild mandates and their first vax shot. But just understand once zero covid breaks, and it will, you're going to have to deal with the anxiety of spreading covid to that neighbour or your loved ones because that's also acknowledging the fact of covid. You're not going to be surrounded by deaths, but statistically and with respect to PRC's med infra, it will likely happen to someone in your extended social circle, and you'll understand exactly how little citizens "respect" each other when left to their own devices. Maybe you'll even be one of the first ones to contract covid and spread covid to people you care about, but likely everyone your age will dodge severe cases. You'll likely still feel a little guilty, but otherwise won't lose sleep over it. Or maybe your accomplishment will be killing that 90 year old downstairs. TBH at this point you're probably fine with that. I convinced myself I was. This isn't meant to be advice or criticism, but something to keep in mind when shit hits fan in the next few months.