Thanks for this. These are all real problems. But why is the solution that I change my behaviour?

This is exactly what I'm tired of: Because other people are assholes with big frail egos who do not understand their place in the world... I have to change? No, they have to change.

Putting this on me just glosses over and prolongs the real problem: That a lot of people with frail big egos need to realize they are not all that and come down to earth.