> I'd probably feel blindsided if someone criticized my work in public w/o first talking to me about it.
Why, though? If you present your work in front of audience, it is extremely reasonable to expect the audience offer questions or criticism. If the mere fact of people criticizing your work after your presentation makes you feel blindsided, it’s simply a matter of adjusting expectations: you simply should expect criticism.
Then, if you expect criticism, but feel blindsided by the contents of the criticism, this means that you failed your job as a researcher. If someone can come up with a point after listening to your presentation for a few minutes, that you didn’t have thought of in advance and prepared answer for it, it means that you’re doing bad job, and should do better. You should actually thank the critic for bringing the issue to your attention, because in doing so, he helped you.