A meditation on immigration and the opposite, "why someone would leave a good job for no other reason than to be close to family". This is a rich piece that I've always gone back to over the past decade. The rest of the blog is equally as brilliant.
I’m sure Germany is different from the States, so I’m not gonna say I’m an expert at German culture, but suffice to say that beneath the surface of whatever tapestry familial dynamics take in each culture, in the end there’s both rotten and good aspects to each family, often precipitated by the vagaries of human nature.
The more I travel and experience new places and cultures, the more I realize absolutely nothing is that different in a fundamental level. By my estimation 80% of all people are fundamentally capable of great evil in the right circumstances, and no religion or family dynamic changes that, it can just successfully suppress it at best. The two great countries described in the article are also coincidentally the two countries attributed with some of the greatest atrocities in “developed world” history, for whatever that’s worth.
A mother in law sending a tomato plant every year is no more or less loving than a mother who meets their son once a year for thanksgiving, or a grandma eagerly FaceTiming her grandkids across the world every weekend barely able to understand their fast American English. In the end, all we could wish for is a world where everyone minds their own business, forms whatever friends with whomever they want, and live and love they wish to without prejudice. That’s probably the best deal we can get from this world.
I don't think the author is criticizing the Indian family system as a whole (his other posts are an indication of the opposite) but is lamenting on the ease with which educated Indians find removing themselves from their family to be easy, which is not as prevalent (anecdotal) in Germany. It would make sense, because in the West people are where the opportunities are, unlike say an Indian or Chinese immigrant.
> The more I travel and experience new places and cultures, the more I realize absolutely nothing is that different in a fundamental level. By my estimation 80% of all people are fundamentally capable of great evil in the right circumstances, and no religion or family dynamic changes that, it can just successfully suppress it at best.
I agree with this on every level. The more I travel, the more I see that people are motivated by the same things beneath the veneer of culture and religion. This is a feature I believe, makes me empathize with people who are different from me rather than seeing them as "alien".
> A mother in law sending a tomato plant every year is no more or less loving than a mother who meets their son once a year for thanksgiving, or a grandma eagerly FaceTiming her grandkids across the world every weekend barely able to understand their fast American English.
This is a point I would differ with however. Being in close proximity with people does effect the nature of relationships we have with them. In the latter case, neither the kids nor the Grandma will have the emotional cohesion required to form a solid bonding. I can speak this through experience, video calls with relatives did not enhance my relationship with them but only deteriorated. Again, anecdotal but I think physical relationships fare better than emotional ones any day.
> In the end, all we could wish for is a world where everyone minds their own business, forms whatever friends with whomever they want, and live and love they wish to without prejudice. That’s probably the best deal we can get from this world.
Fair, but I don't think the author is passing any judgements. But most immigrants do not have a choice in the nature of their relationships, money is usually the motivator, not inter-personal relationships.