I was originally prescribed something like 30mg daily when I was in university and it made me super anxious to the point of dumping all of my medication. Years later, I gave it another shot with the understanding that it would be a tool and not a solution, and I would take the absolute minimum amount necessary and no more. It worked significantly better.
It’s unfortunate that so few doctors are willing to prescribe medication for people with properly diagnosed ADHD. I also can’t help but think that regardless of the condition, if your doctor is only willing to try one type and dose of medication to treat a condition, that sounds like a shitty doctor. This isn’t diabetes—there’s not a measurable target that’s needed to be hit for optimum performance.
ADHD conditions and symptoms are a spectrum and different people respond to different medications and doses differently. Every trial of medication should be exactly that—a trial, until something works.
You don’t go to an optometrist and have them say “you’ve got astigmatism, here’s your glasses” in a one size fits all scenario, you go through the different lenses until you reach the best one _for your situation at the time_.
Have you considered umm religion? I’m gonna trigger lots of you anti Catholics out there. Done right I think religion is like practical psychology. You get support from others, practice managing your thoughts and learn how to recognize good vs bad thoughts.
My own path was to read Be Here Now a crazy psychedelic spirituality book, and then read books from that bibliography and choose something. I’m not here to shill my religious tradition, just to say there’s something there in that direction that may help you.
The wrong choice may make your life worse, but you will hopefully be able to recognize that and switch course. That would be your decisions to make.
It might allow you to try Ritalin again (albeit in smaller doses).