Talk about a solution in search of a problem
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_Whip
https://www.statista.com/statistics/281278/us-households-mos...
By the way, by your argument that cool whip is sludge, wouldn't making something better than it, that still meets the demand, be worthwhile?
Aside from the reduced calorie angle, the new product is inferior to plenty of existing products for the rest of your criteria.
Edit: not to mention they only replicated the texture, not the taste. Getting a whipped cream flavor with the same or similar sweetness (not something lactic bacteria are good at) is probably going to undermine whatever health benefit you would get.