We've done a lot of work on "self-hosted AND automated"

inletsctl - automates a VM with the inlets tunnel server preinstalled, including with HTTPS termination with Let's Encrypt, or pure TCP pass-through

inlets-operator - the same for Kubernetes Load Balancer services

Feel free to take a look at https://inlets.dev/

We talk a lot about the community adoption here in the first half -https://inlets.dev/blog/2022/11/16/service-provider-uplinks....

(I'm the original founder of inlets)