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Comment by robbyking | Hacker News Reader

One thing I learned when my son was born is eating well is really tough to do when your mind is somewhere else.

Mealtrains -- friend sourced meal prep -- are popular for people with newborns, but I've taken to dropping off meals (or sending GrubHub gift cards for friends who live out of town) to friends when I know they're going through a tough time.

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This - providing meals - is a time honored tradition in many many cultures and communities, for exactly the reasons you mention.

I think the somewhat recent focus on nuclear families and breaking of social cohesion that came with it makes this harder. If you don't even know your neighbors, you probably don't know when they need the help, or if it would be appreciated/accepted if you offer.

Interesting to see this perspective. I've always associated the focus on nuclear families with a tight-knit neighborhood, almost small-town vibe where everyone knows each other and, yes, are up in each other's business. The breaking of social cohesion I've associated with the more recent phenomenon of it becoming more common to leave one's community to go to school or for a new job.

I agree it's a combination of travel an nuclear families but those things are highly interrelated. For what it's worth most of the small-town vibe I'm familiar with from actual small towns is behind the trend to nuclear families; more likely you have multiple generations of multiple families near by who know/grow up with each other. Not uniformly, but very common. Not that I'm highly familiar or anything.

But another important impact I think is that the idea of a nuclear family is pretty much predicated on independence of your little family unit. This not needing anyone else makes it practical to move across the country on short notice, but also makes it possible to break/ignore ties locally. This is of course also affected by the creation of state level supports.

In other scenarios, part of the reason that people got more involved in local community is because they literally risked disaster if they didn't.

I've just discovered this firsthand. Meal trains are awesome, but really challenging to have done right if you and/or your partner have serious food allergies. GrubHub is definitely good, but what's worked for us is a prepared foods service that drops off pre-cooked meals twice a week. Our friends and family gave us cash to help allay the cost of the service, but it's really not much more expensive than takeout.

We're in Seattle, and use these folks: https://www.westerlykitchen.com

> Meal trains are awesome, but really challenging to have done right if you and/or your partner have serious food allergies

Maybe someone should create a meal registry. Like meal planning and a meal train combined with the concept of a gift register. I don't think I'd feel comfortable being that direct with what I will and won't eat when it's a service someone is going out of their way to provide, but on the other hand I have received meals I didn't eat so it'd be better for everyone. The idea is simple enough that I'd be surprised if it doesn't already exist.

Edit: ha, a search for "meal train" shows this solution as the first hit, so guess there's a demand after all.

I don't think I'd feel comfortable being that direct with what I will and won't eat when it's a service someone is going out of their way to provide

I'm only this direct about it because of the severity of my food allergy. Wish I didn't have to be so picky!

Food delivery service gift cards has become my go to in these situations. It has been really well received. It can be tough to cook for other people’s families with kids.

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