Hacker News Reader

Comment by fayalargeau | Hacker News Reader

> “Hey, I heard about the news. I don’t have the right words and please don’t feel obligated to reply. Just know that if I can do something, big or small, now or in the future, I’m just a text away.”

i like this

View on HN

I don't like it personally. I feel it is exaggerated, especially the part "I don't have the right words" I would feel awkward if I were on the receiving end — I lost my job, not someone died. Maybe it is just me, I get awkward easily, for context.

It highly depends on the context. Are they 20-something single person working on a high-pay job, or someone older with a family to support and struggling? The response needs to be different.

There are no universally applicable "right words" for this (or many other situations), so sometimes "I do have the right words" are the right words because they do a good job at conveying the speaker's intent (of showing that they care and are there to help).

Maybe instead of that sentence, if you really like them and would like to see them again, tell them you would like to see them again sometimes?

I wrote the article - Thanks, means a lot to me!

"...a phone call away" for cultures and ages that prefer speaking to texting. :-)

"Hey you up for meeting for a coffee this weekend?" works too.

It's also more concrete and proactive than telling them they can talk to you. The coffee chat situation allows more open conversation too.

I don't know for me it's just not necessary. I know who has my back already. This would just feel like pandering. I'd rather people didn't act like I suffered a traumatic life event. It's just a job after all.

For me something more appropriate might be:

"Hey, I heard about the news. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, big or small."

Or for someone I'm close to:

"Heard you got laid off. That fucking sucks. How are you holding up?"

Reply on news.ycombinator.com