> So we have to start a war or something to get respect?

Not at all.

There are no shortage of problems in the world. Rwanda is basically over, but there's the Sudan and the other hell-holes of sub-saharan Africa. Surely you've got more to contribute than "the Americans dropped the ball again."

Then there's Bosnia. Right in the EU's backyard. Why should the US be there at all?

The world is full of problems. Pick some and solve them. We don't care how you do it, but we do notice that you're not even trying.

Is it really unreasonable to expect the EU to handle fairly big problems?

Apparently so - you can't even manage to provide reasonable capacity in Afghanistan. (Man for man, fantastic, but there aren't many men.)