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Comment by simonebrunozzi | Hacker News Reader

> Monica lets you quickly and easily log all those information so you can be a better friend, family member or spouse.

Are we sure that to be a better friend, you need a digital reminder that your friends, their children, etc, exist?

I used to have calendar reminders of birthdays of friends, etc. I then removed them all. If it's really about a friend, I will remember without any help.

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Not everyone has a good memory. Having a terrible memory isn’t a choice someone makes.

Not wanting to hurt loved ones by forgetting important dates is a choice one can make. Tools help.

As someone with a memory poor enough to qualify as an actual disability, it irks me to no end to see people equating ability to memorize (and also recall at the right time without prompting) with the amount that they value a person or relationship. It’s simply not true.

+1 I don't gave a generally poor memory but my memory for dates is horrible. I've missed my loved one's birthdays and important life events before, though generally not by much, enough to disappoint. Using tools to help with this has been life changing.

Nothing wrong with getting some help from automation though. It makes things more effective, so if you want to keep relationship with friends/family then you will get that, if you don't want that person to be in your reminders, just remove them. It helps keeping your mind free for other stuff.

My sister is autistic and was excited when I sent this to her. She struggles with these types of things, despite being extroverted and deeply caring of her friends.

Generally I cannot remember anyone's birthday if it isn't at least in my calendar.

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