Comment by edw519 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by edw519 | Hacker News Reader

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Sometimes we hackers work too hard to make things more complicated than they need to be.

I was referring to the hackers who use the forum, not the ones who run it. Sorry for the confusion.

It really is much easier and more beneficial for everyone to just be nice. Why work harder to achieve less?

A few strategies that have made it easier for me to "be nice":

1. Avoid long back and forth threads. Say what you have to say and get back to work.

2. Try to plan your comment to not be misinterpreted. This avoids much unnecessary pain. It's also difficult.

3. If someone responds negatively to you, wait and let others respond on your behalf. It's amazing how much better this feels.

4. Imagine that the other person has 42 legitimate reasons for not being nice. Let 'em slide.

5. Imagine that the other person may someday be your ideal co-founder, mentor, collaborator, customer, or angel. (Or more likely, your ideal co-founder, mentor, collaborator, customer, or angel is witnessing this exchange.) Don't say anything to scare them away.

6. Most of all: It doesn't matter! This is all optional. We were all busy working before Hacker News and will be busy working after Hacker News is gone (perish the thought). Lighten up.

"1. Avoid long back and forth threads. Say what you have to say and get back to work."

If everyone followed all those rules I think this one would be detrimental. Seeing you smarter-than-me people go back and forth about stuff I'm right on the verge of understanding is pretty cool.

About 5-10% of back and forth threads are useful to read. As you point out, these are usually civil debates about the merits of particular approaches.

I think the point is: as soon as it gets personal, get back to work.

The best predictor of a long exchange being good is the number of intermediate questions asked and answered in it.

It depends on the reason for the back and forth. Is it to exchange new information and deepen the conversation or is it to retread the same ground and try to defend a point? When it's the latter it's rarely productive. If you were unclear the first time and someone misinterpreted you then perhaps take the time to make sure to be clearer in restating what you meant, but try not to go beyond that.

I remember going back and forth with you about that escher illusion a guy built in his garage. Just an example of what I'm talking about and why I think it's cool. http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2233584

Try to plan your comment to not be misinterpreted. This avoids much unnecessary pain. It's also difficult.

I think you can reduce the chance of misinterpretation but never eliminate it. Language is not sufficiently precise to prevent all misinterpretations.

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